WOnderful MAN

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                                                                          📷The DePauw

Have we collectively as a society ever thought about why a woman is termed as woman, according to my understanding it's because she is everything a man can dream to be, and over that she is wonderful, hence WOnderful MAN, is a woman.

I am not a feminist fighter, I can’t be because I don’t believe in equality anymore, the fight is for something that is a right to any human, there shouldn’t be a fight for it in the first place. I am neither a person who will blindly support a woman’s idea as well, today’s woman is irrational at so many levels, the reason for that is also very evident. Sorry, but the woman being ludicrous is also because she has lived in a man’s world for far too long. Let’s start with some factual instances that are hidden in plain sight, the colony of ants, the colony of bees, the clan of hyena, the pods of orcas or the herd of elephants all of them are headed by the oldest, most experienced females to maintain the harmony, function in the beauty of life and carry the “burden” of their society with a smile on their face and babies around them. 

By now I must have already hurt a lot of guys, guys with fragile egos are weak, unloved and absurd, and on top of that their actions are unjustifiable. But men, my God “men” are definitely the sweetest creations of God. What has complicated them today is just the fragile guys from the past who took away the essence of being a man from them, I see so many of them struggle to shed a tear when they are heartbroken because they were told crying is for the weak, ask me you fragile guy, the power, the clarity, that comes from crying like a baby, as you see your swollen face in the mirror and realize what you were crying for; is gone, you let yourself break into pieces and gather all of it together, put them back piece by piece and stand up every damn time. You can share the things you thought might bring down your “aura points”. If you are being judged, have the power to change the people around you. You deserve better to become better. A woman is not complete without a man in it, the irony of it all narrows down to it, just a simple play of words. Just like any of those previously mentioned animal societies would not exist without male energy, human society also needs real masculinity to survive.

This could definitely turn into a book but I will cover at least three points for my dear men before I come back to glorifying women. One, men could function well if they trash their egos and work a little with self respect. Because with that damn ego your head becomes a place that’s filled with self pleasuring reassurances that when not coming from people around you specially women around you leads you to force into the extremities of unreasonable asks, whereas if you had that replaced with self respect you could embrace the opinions and have your own beliefs to function independently instead of falling prey to the societal expectations from you, you could finally be the change you wrote about on one of the comment sections on Instagram. Two, embrace the emotional quotient in your daily life. This is not suggestive to start crying at any minor inconvenience, nobody does that. Ok, I agree there might be some people who overreact but let's be considerate of the circumstances around them. I once cried after a generic conversation with my manager because he suggested that I shouldn’t be taking leave and going home. Of course I was angry, I missed home, I was hungry, the workplace environment isn’t positive and my head was paining, hormone imbalances was like the cherry on top and I felt the hot flash creeping all over my body leading me to burst in panic attack followed with an intense cry, so what? Does that make me weak physically or emotionally? Or does that suggest that I might not be mentally sound? Even if it does, will anybody’s opinion on these affect me in reality? The answer to all of them is “NO”, then why is it so difficult for men to understand, why is it so difficult for them to accept to let go of the tough guy image at least in front of selected few people, I agree it might not be as expected among the guy group but it will be accepted with your mom, sister, wife, girlfriend, girl friend, or daughter. !! Disclaimer: It might not be a pleasant conversation, women have the analytical bent of mind that suggests going to the core of problem statement, break it into basic solvable algorithms and then function on them, so dear beautiful men, you might have to open about the things you have deeply buried in your heavy heart.!! The good thing is it's okay. Three, accepting losses and mistakes, it's okay you don’t lose your arm in a war if you lose on a bet, or you accept something; that makes a different sense later. It's okay to acknowledge it as a mistake if you don’t know how to name it. As simple as it sounds, I think it's the most difficult of all the ones above. It will actually make lives so much more simpler, make people less manipulative and make everyone around you comfortable to have a conversation with. Though I wrote this for all the men, in today’s context it equally is applicable for all the ladies out there too, don’t you think we have gone too far in the war against guys that we have taken over their traits and mannerisms in our lives? Let’s be original, all of us. Our fight is not against any gender, it’s against the toxicity that comes from a thought of superiority, which is obviously bullshit, to bring anyone who is still up high on the clouds, we are made with something that would otherwise be flushed out of the body as waste, so let’s not prove ourselves to be a waste to the society.

Dear Ladies, I am back to you. Love yourself. Please love yourself before you go out in the world finding love. The love you need is not out there until you find it within. That being said, I know and I have been there, when I thought I can be the person who can do it all, I could be the good daughter, the best of friends, the best partner, and obviously an awesome lover as well, but doing so I realized I was compromising on being myself. We all do, we all compromise on ourselves, that’s the requirement of any relationship even if it's as non demanding as friendship, but there should be a limit to the compromise we make and it should be mutual. Just because you feel heard, just because you felt loved in the moment, doesn't necessarily mean you were loved, sometimes those moments are just fleeting, they are meant to go. And then the spontaneous decisions you took in those moments come back to bear their results in your moment of stillness. That’s what we generally call “reality hitting hard”. It wouldn’t hurt us that hard if we were a little more practical with all our emotional know how. Being vulnerable and being strong at the same time, like you showed your lowest to someone but you know they can’t harm you even in that state is the only best way to be you. For this, have either of two, one, good people, even if you have accepted that no one is a constant, appreciate good people around you and be with them to learn, or two is trust in yourself. All of us are powerful, we just don’t accept it to actualize it. Classic superhero movie. 

The next big thing is to know it's not really that big! We make it big, have some control over overthinking, correct people won’t really make you think so much. So have that in your heart and shut your overworking brain, and live a little, then a little more. Say things that are left somewhere unsaid, feel the things that were caged because we can and we should. Let things flow, meet new people if old ones are not the good ones anymore but at the same time don’t shatter the beauty of old relationships just because they are old. Give love and receive love because it is all we have to live in this one life we have today.

Love.